After studying the Bible and finding out more about God's view of widows, I became more confident in seeing Him fill the roles left vacant by Michael's death. It brought a wonderful contentment and happiness. I remember saying one day, "I hope nothing changes because I am so happy right now." I should have know right then that change was coming!
Who do you think I was studying about along with learning about God's provision for widows? THE FATHERLESS! The vast majority of verses that speak of widows also speak of the orphan or fatherless (depending on the translation.) I always interpreted that as including LOTL and Little Pud [see About Me for explanation], which it does, but there was so much more that was getting down into my mind and spirit. One day in the early summer of 2008, BAM! into my heart dropped the thought, "I am supposed to adopt from Hong Kong." This was out of the clear blue. I knew it wasn't my own thought. It was from God. I took some time and prayed, but it didn't go away, so I started the process to adopt from Hong Kong.
A bit more background: Michael and I had always planned on adopting sometime. We wanted "a lot" of kids. We always said "at least 4," but the truth was we really wanted 6 (or maybe even more.) After I made it through the first year or so of grief for my husband, my bigger struggle was my grief for the children I would never have. At first I thought that maybe I would get remarried and have more children that way. At one point a few years ago I did extensive research into adoption as a single mother, but I just knew that wasn't for me at that time (much to my sadness, because I really wanted to adopt.) FINALLY, gradually, I became completely content with the two wonderful gifts I had been given (not that I wasn't thankful for them before--I enjoyed them so much that I wanted more.) That contentment and my widow/orphan Bible study both came about a year or so before the mandate to adopt suddenly appeared.
I thought this might be my last post, but it is getting too long, so Super T's adoption story will have to wait for next time.