Amazing friends

I cannot explain what amazing friends I have.  Inspiring, thoughtful, encouraging, generous.

I have friends who planned and ran an enormous garage sale for Baby Girl's adoption.

I have a friend who had me speak at her church and then they presented me with two VERY generous checks, totally unexpectedly.

I have several friends (and family members who are also friends) from all over the country who wrote me checks out of the blue.

I have a friend who shared my situation with her friend who then sold hand-made jewelry to raise money for this adoption.

I have friends (and total strangers) who have donated to my Reece's Rainbow Family Sponsorship Page.

I have friends who have given a crib, baby carriers, clothes, and toys.

I have friends who pray for me, encourage me, inspire me, listen to me.

I have been humbled and awed with the love shown to me by these friends.

I haven't asked for money or help in this adoption journey.  I knew I did not have the money in my savings account (it was emptied with my first big agency fee) but I also didn't feel like I was to "raise" the money.  I just felt confident that it would come to me and it has.  I have been amazed, yet not amazed, because I knew this is what my Father God would do.  He set me on this journey of adoption and He is the one providing for it. 

Now, on this last leg of my adoption journey, this third trimester of my paper pregnancy, my friend Sarah is at it again.  She asked if she could help me out with with this last bit, the travel expenses.

Sarah makes beautiful hand-stamped jewelry (and takes great pictures, too.) 

She formerly sold her hand-stamped jewelry in an Etsy shop, but now almost the only way to get a piece is in one of her rare fundraisers for others, like this one.  Sarah is going to custom make a bracelet or pendant for anyone who donates to my Family Sponsorship Page. All of the details are on her blog: http://shepherdsgrace.wordpress.com/2012/09/20/daughters/

If you have been wanting to help out, this is a great opportunity.  If you need a unique Christmas gift, here is your chance.  But whether or not you give, I want to go on record telling the world that my loving Father God has provided for Baby Girl's adoption as only He can.  He provided!  I am so thankful to the friends, family, and strangers who have listened to His promptings and have given at exactly the right times.  And whether or not you are interested in giving I would encourage you to read Sarah's lovely post about daughters, or any of the posts on her blog...my friend has a way with words in addition to her jewelry-making, picture-taking talents.

The money post

Here is the long-promised money post with a general adoption update at the end. This is a relatively low cost adoption. Almost the only way to adopt with lower expenses is to adopt through the foster care system in the U.S.

For anyone who is interested, here is the breakdown of Baby Girl's adoption costs:

Application Part #1..............................$50 (paid 10/25/11)
Application Part #2............................$300 (paid 11/18/11)
International Adoption Seminar........$85 (paid 11/30/11)
Program Management Fee #1......$2500 (paid 12/27/11)
Home study fee (Hague)................$1750 (paid 12/27/11)
Program Management Fee #2......$2500 (paid 3/6/12)
Refundable deposit..........................$500 (paid 3/6/12)
USCIS fees........................................$720 (paid 3/7/12)
USCIS fingerprinting fee...................$85 (paid 3/7/12)
Post placement fee........................$1400 (paid 8/8/12)
International fees...........................$1500
Travel................................approx. $5000
Finalization.......................approx. $1000
USCIS N-600 (citizenship).............$550

The total comes to just under $18,000, but doesn't include physicals for everyone in the family, background checks, extra adoption education, printer ink (!), Fed Ex fees, etc. I would estimate the total for all the miscellaneous has been about $500 for this adoption, BUT you'll notice the refundable deposit up there (already paid). I will receive that back once Baby Girl's adoption has been finalized and she has her citizenship. So the grand total, still is under $18K.

The Finalization fee will be paid directly to an attorney after Baby Girl has been home for six months and after our court date. Remember that with Super-T? And AFTER that can we apply for her citizenship, so $1550 of the total is a LONG way off (possibly as much as 2 years). In fact the other $7900 is still quite a ways off, also. Most of it will be paid at travel (some even after travel), so likely in early 2013. The front end costs of this adoption are all paid! Yippee!

Now the general adoption update: I received new pictures and a tiny update about Baby Girl. She is growing and starting to pull up to standing. She is out of the hospital and at a great child care facility where she is getting therapy and lots of love (very unusual in orphan situations). I wish I could share her cute pictures!

On this end of things, I am almost to the end of the "second trimester" of this paper pregnancy. I am about to enter The Long Wait. Next week I have my fingerprinting appointment, shortly after that I should have immigration pre-approval (don't worry I'll let you know when I get it), then the WAITING begins in earnest. Good thing I have a bathroom remodel to keep me busy.



P.S. Less than two more days to add to the stew! See the Mulligan Stew button on the sidebar. And only 4 more days to get a deal on StelCon:Infinity on Kickstarter. That button is on the sidebar also.

The toilet is where?

"Hey, Mom!  Why is the toilet in the front yard?"

"I guess I might as well sit on it!"

We are having our bathroom remodeled!  Yippee!  

It is about time.  When we moved into our 1950's era house, I didn't have the money for a bathroom remodel (after ripping out carpets, redoing hardwood floors, and painting everything), so I said, "I'll save up and do it in a few months."  That few months turned into seven years. 

The plumbing in the shower finally completely gave out and that motivated me to do it.  Fortunately my parents live next door because it would otherwise be very tough to live in a house with no bathroom for the next week or so.  THANKS, Pa and Grandma!  AND I miraculously have the money to pay for it, thanks to a gift that will nearly pay for half of the remodel plus another source of income that covers the rest.  I am so thankful and truly overwhelmed by generosity right now!  God always provides what I need when I need it!  He is never late! 

I remembered last night to snap a couple of "before" pictures.  Stay tuned next week for "afters."

I am looking forward to no more linoleum, paneling, or plastic trim; white tile instead of weird maroonish-salmon; a new sink and toilet; and, most of all, a shower that works! 

Any ideas for colors to paint the walls?  It is a very tiny bathroom, so I definitely want something light.  I am open to suggestions! 

P.S.  Don't forget about the Mulligan Stew giveaway on my sidebar.  Right now they have matching funds for the Lost Boys!  So exciting!

Friend

Look at what my sweet friend Sarah is doing to help with Baby Girl's adoption: 

http://shepherdsgrace.wordpress.com/2012/02/27/trust/

I'll write more about the financial aspects of this adoption later, but I wanted to post the link now.


Updated on Leap Day (Feb. 29, 2012):  All necklaces are spoken for.  I am simply amazed and stunned by people's generosity.  Thank you so much to all who gave!  Special thanks to Sarah for this wonderful gift!

Tying my hammock strings to Jesus

My big kids and I are reading Bruchko by Bruce Olson.  Bruce went to South America in the early 1960's at the age of 19 to be a missionary to the remote tribe of Motilone Indians.  It is an amazing story of trust, danger, excitement and how to be a missionary while respecting the people's culture.  We aren't finished with the book yet, but one metaphor stuck out to me.  After YEARS of living with the Motilones and not saying anything about Jesus...just living with them and adopting their culture and building relationships, Bruce's best friend wanted to know about Jesus.  Bruce told him (among other things) that he could "tie his hammock strings to Jesus."  The Motilone's lived in communal homes and all slept in hammocks, some suspended as much as 20 feet in the air.  Bruce had been hesitant about getting into the hammock at early in time there, and his friend told him that he had to get both feet in the hammock and be suspended.  Bruce told his friend Bobby (his nickname for the almost unpronounceable Motilone name), "You have to be suspended.  That is how it is when you follow Jesus, Bobby.  No man can tell you how to walk His trail.  Only Jesus can.  But to find out you have to tie your hammock strings into Him, and be suspended in God."

This reminds me of my current "theme verse."   Proverbs 3: 5-7 says

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.  Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.

Not coincidentally, verses 9 and 10 of the same chapter talk about money, one of the most difficult areas of our lives in which to really "tie our hammock strings to Jesus" and lift both feet off the ground.

Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.

The picture was taken from Bruce Olson's website http://www.bruceolson.com/index.htm  Check out the book and/or the website and be inspired to trust.  Also check out my other blog today about two precious girls.

He cares about the little things

When my mom asked me what I wanted for my birthday I had two things on my list: a wireless mouse and a ceramic travel mug.  My wonderful kiddos got me the mouse and mom and dad gave me the mug, and I also received various other generous and thoughtful gifts.  What I didn't tell my mom, though, was that I really wanted a massage. However I did toss that request up to God in a very quick way.  I was not focused on it at all, but it was a real desire of mine that I briefly prayed about.

The day before my birthday I got a call from a dear friend who I hadn't seen in six months.  She wanted to take me out to lunch for my birthday.  She also mentioned that we'd make another brief stop.  On Black Friday we had a lovely lunch at Abuelo's and afterwards we drove to the mall.  The mall on Black Friday?!?  Yikes!  I am NOT a Black Friday shopper.  The parking lot was packed, but we immediately scored a great parking spot.  After walking through the mall craziness for a bit, suddenly my friend said, "Here we are."  We were in front of the chair-massage kiosk.  I can still feel the effects of the amazing massage she gifted to me. (I had a really tight shoulder that is almost completely better now!)  What was so cool is that we were the only ones there, in this BUSY mall, on the busiest shopping day of the year. Almost immediately after my massage started other people started coming up to get in line for the next one.

The past several months (and especially the past month or so) I have been going through a season of re-learning to trust the Lord--really TRUSTING Him for everything.

This experience helped assure me that He hears my prayers and delights in answering them.  It was also an encouragement to my friend--that she does hear from the Lord.  She really felt prompted to get me a massage, but she wasn't sure I'd like it.  I am thankful she was bold enough to follow through. 

God heard me.  She heard God.  God cares about the tiniest details.  He has my best interests at heart.  I can trust Him.  With everything.

Relearning...

I am re-relearning lessons I thought I had down pat. The good news is that it usually takes less time to relearn what you learned well in the first place. The bad news is that the lesson still isn't very fun (even when going over it for the umpteenth time). I'm so thankful God is patient with me and His grace is sufficient. The truth is that I don't need to force myself to learn this lesson. I just need to be willing to learn it as He (re) teaches it.

Choices and Trust

Over the last few days I have been reminded of how important our reactions to bad situations are. Did you know that you have a choice in how you react, even when the circumstances are very bad?

Earlier this week I had an unexpected bad thing happen to me and within the next day or two an expected good thing didn't happen. Both situations were tough and stressful in their own ways, and I had lots of choices to make.

The bad thing (serious car trouble on the highway) could have been REALLY bad (breaking down on the highway with 6 people in the van in 100+ degree heat), fairly quickly resolved itself into being just pretty bad (mostly financially since we made it to the Bass Pro parking lot...if your car is going to break down on a hot day with kids in the car, that is a pretty good place to be.) I will not deny that it was stressful, but after taking a deep breath (or 10) and praying a good bit (silently, while keeping an eye on the kids in the store), I chose to trust God to work it out (while doing my part by making phone calls, etc.) To make a long story short, I anticipated around $1000 in repairs (yes, it was that bad), later was happy to receive the estimate of "only" $500, and finally was ecstatic to get the final bill of $85. Yes, you read that right! It was awesome and amazing! God is so faithful!

The van situation was quickly resolved. The other situation is ongoing. I am not going to go into details here, but a good thing that I expected to happen didn't happen. It was a huge disappointment. I had the opportunity for discouragement, anger, mistrust, etc. I had lots of choices to make. Where do I place my hope? my trust? my focus?

Psalm 121 (KJV)

¹I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

²My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.

³He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.

⁴Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.

⁶The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.

⁷The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.

⁸The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

Aha! My help comes from God. Not from people (who God can use, but they are not my source.) If God doesn't use the method I thought He would use I still can choose to trust Him. So much of this is a choice. What do I think about? What is my focus? Where are my priorities? Do I really love people or do I covet things? God made heaven and earth (v. 2 above); He never takes a break (v. 3 & 4); He is who I choose to look to. Because of choosing to look to God and trust Him, I can see the bigger picture, maybe not the whole picture, but enough of it to realize that my disappointment is nothing compared to what other people are going through, enough to give me empathy rather than anger, and confidence rather than shattered hope.

I will leave you with the first nine verses of Ps. 37. If you get a chance, read it in its entirety. Meditate on it. Choose who you will trust. If you feel like you just can't make this choice, or you feel like you have no choice, ask for God's strength and His grace. It is only by His grace that I have been able to make these choices.

Psalm 37

¹Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.

²For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.

³Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

⁴Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

⁵Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

⁶And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

⁷Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

⁸Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

⁹For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.

FB Note from Sept. 5, 2009: My story...Part 2

If you missed part 1, you can read it here. Twenty-eight years down, ten to go. Lest you think I only learned one major lesson during those first twenty eight years, that was not the case at all. It is just that that one particular lesson was one of the few that actually produced enough disequilibrium to change my thinking. One reason that I had few of these types of lessons was that the teaching and beliefs I developed as a child, teen, and young adult were actually quite sound. More clarifying changes in thinking were (and are) to come, but I am so very thankful for the firm foundation I developed (not on my own, of course) during those early years. I am so fortunate that I have really required a minimum of "unlearning" bad stuff and more just deepening, developing, enhancing, and taking ownership of the good stuff.

The next two big lessons that came my way were both lessons of trust. Our first year or so of marriage Michael and I were financially what I call "early-married-stupid." In other words we spent a lot of money we didn't have on things we didn't really need and dug ourselves a sizable hole of credit card debt. When we moved back to my home state, we started a business (complete with a $25,000 business loan) which failed within a couple of years. When LOTL [see sidebar for description of my "anonimizing" names for my kiddos] was a baby, cutoff notices and phone calls from bill collectors had become a regular part of our stressed-out lives. During that time I learned to truly trust God in my time of need (His grace is sufficient, even when we got ourselves into the mess); and we never had a utility cut off (repeatedly the money came miraculously in the nick of time), we always could pay the rent, and we always had food on the table (lots of beans and rice and mac and cheese.) During this time we had repented of our stupidity, read _The Complete Tightwad Gazette_ and _Financial Peace_, became very frugal, and watched God provide. Our debt was HUGE, but He helped us get a plan and begin digging ourselves out, step-by-step. Truly our "poverty days" made a huge impact on me...both how I view money and how I view God. It is never a question to me any more whether or not He will provide; AND I don't get myself into messes, THEREFORE I have money to give with no worries or fear.

The second lesson on trust was actually worse that those stress-filled years of not-quite-making-it. In fact I don't know that it was much of a lesson at all as a blow to everything I thought I knew. A person I had known for many many years, worked with, and had trusted as a "good Christian," was arrested for doing the unthinkable. At first I vehemently defended him, not believing the charges; but when it became clear that the charges were true, my world shattered. If he could do this horror, anyone could be capable of doing any evil. No one, other than myself, was worthy of my trust. I was dazed. I was disillusioned. I grieved. Slowly, I came to realize that there was One whom I could still trust. Yes, He was the only One. But more than just trusting Him alone and living a life of mistrust and suspicion with those around me, I could trust Him to show me hidden things that needed to be revealed in the moment I needed them. I did not need to rely on my own ability to protect my toddler son from all the evil in the world. What I did need to do was be sensitive to God's voice, trust it, and be willing to act on it.

Part 3 coming soon...