So much going on inside

Honestly I cannot even describe it. God is working in several areas of my life. I am feeling such a draw towards small groups/Bible study/discipleship. I also must let go of my clutter and some things that aren't clutter, but have become idols to me (I only discovered that they were idols after God spoke to me about getting rid of them.) I am in the process of following the Lord in something He told me to do in regards to orphans, but I am sensing a shift and am a bit scared by it. I have many excuses that roll around in my head part of the time, but the most of the time there is a sense of excitement all over me.

Just yesterday a blogger I follow posted this: http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/2010/12/nets.html

And this morning I read in Hebrews 10 again (have been "stuck" there for some time.)

Heb. 10:23-25
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near.

"The day" is definitely drawing near. In this verse I see small group and individual discipleship and encouragement.

Heb. 10:32-34
But remember the former days, when, after being enlightened, you endured a great conflict of sufferings, partly, by being made a public spectacle through reproaches and tribulations, and partly by becoming sharers with those who were so treated. For you showed sympathy to the prisoners, and accepted joyfully the seizure of your property, knowing that you have for yourselves a better possession and an abiding one.

We do not value persecution like they once did. Accepting it joyfully. Not happy about the persecution, but thankful that we are counted worthy to suffer for the Lord's sake, and willing to take that stand. Not just fighting the persecution with politics. We have a better possession and an ABIDING ONE!

Heb. 10:37-38
For yet in a very little while, He who is coming will come, and will not delay. But My righteous one shall live by faith; and if he shrinks back, My soul has no pleasure in him.

May I not shrink back! I was put here for His glory, and I want to give pleasure to Him. He will give me the grace I need to follow Him all the way if I provide a willing heart. By His grace, I will put actions to my words.

One more thing: I realized that all of this is going on INSIDE me, yet most people who know me would never know it. I hope to change that. To let my light shine. It scares me to think that people may know what a freak, what a radical, I am; but I am ready to drop my nets and follow Him.