When I originally got on Facebook (after much reluctance) I wrote a few "notes" there because I had no intention of ever blogging. I decided that I should transfer most of those notes to this blog, now that I actually have one. For those of you that are my FB friends, these are all repeats so don't feel like you have to reread or comment. I'll try to post the date I originally published them on FB. Most are autobiographical in nature. I will likely change names (at least remove last names), but otherwise these will stay essentially the same (I sure don't have time to edit.)
I hope/plan to have some new and exciting posts about education in the near future, but it will likely be at least mid-July before they are up.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
When God Speaks...
This blog has been even quieter than usual for a reason. Two months ago today I got a phone call saying I was approved to do DHS foster care in my home. Three hours later I brought home a five-year-old brother and his three-year-old sister. To say it has been busy would be an understatement. Five children definitely keep me busier than three children. It has been an interesting time and I have found out a lot of stuff about myself and my character. To say it has been challenging would also be an understatement. One think I KNOW is that God led me to do foster care and He led me to do it at this time. I have no question at all in my mind about that.
What I want to write about today is something I have considered writing about for a while now. In fact I have written examples of it in my story of the minivans and in my most recent post. God always confirms His direction to me through His Word. He does this in different ways. Usually it is through the content and meaning of the verses He shows me (or that I "happen" to read), as it was in the above two examples, but occasionally it is in the actual word usage of the Bible.
First let me say that I am speaking here of specific guidance that I already know lines up with the content and principles of the Word of God. God will never lead you or me to do something contrary to the Bible. This is an EXTREMELY important point!!! How do I know if it lines up with His principles? I have to READ the Bible...immerse myself in it as much as possible. I cannot adequately stress this point! God will never guide you contrary to His Word, AND I would totally discount and disregard an example like what I wrote below if it didn't line up with the content and principles God has written for us in the Bible.
It is astonishing to me when God uses the actual word usage in the Bible to confirm His still small voice. This has happened to me a handful of times and always stuns me because I feel like God was thinking of me and my situation thousands of years ago when the words were penned and hundreds of years ago when they were translated. He was thinking of ME! Wow! I am amazed and awed by His love!
On the morning of April 18 I wrote in my very-infrequently-used journal, "Last night the word "respite" came to me. Is this the direction God is leading me in? I will look for confirmation in the Word."
I prayed for confirmation. I felt like I was in such a low spot mentally and physically with all of the demands of the kids and uncomfortable revelations about my own character that I needed some sort of confirmation to know I was hearing His voice, especially since it was very possible that it was just my wishful thinking. After all, I KNEW He called me to do foster care, and doing respite for other foster parents seemed to be the easy way out. (Respite is short term care...for a weekend or a week or occasionally longer.) I did some looking in the Bible at lots of scriptures about rest and encouragement since respite is essentially a rest for the foster parents and I would have the potential to speak encouraging words in to their lives and the lives of the kids. Of course there are also so many scriptures about God's care for the fatherless that I was already familiar with due to my widow study. The concept certainly lined up with God's Word, but was respite truly His specific direction for me? I kept praying about it, and felt peace, so I decided that when my current foster kids go to their mom I will just do respite care. I almost forgot about asking for confirmation until last week. I "happened" to be looking up a word in the concordance. The word started with the letter "R" and I thought, "Hmmm...while I am in the R's I think I'll look up 'respite' and see if that word is even in the Bible." Sure enough "respite" is in the Bible, but only two times.
I looked up the first time. It was in Exodus. When I turned to it, I saw my bookmark from my first section in my Ten-Chapters-A-Day plan. The word "respite" was in the very next chapter I would have read if I had been getting up early to do my Bible reading. I turned to the only other time the word "respite" is used in the entire Bible. Guess what? It was at my next bookmark. It was the very next chapter I would have read after the one in Exodus! If I only would have gotten up early and read my ten chapters (actually I would have only had to read the first two of the ten chapters) the very next day or any of the days after writing my journal entry on April 18, I would have had my confirmation in the Word! I don't think I have read more than 2 days worth of my plan since the kids came in March (spread out over several days). I cannot tell you how many times in my exhaustion I have not gotten up early to read, and lately when I have been getting up early to read (because it makes SUCH a difference in my day and my life!), I have been focused in one book. (2 Peter!!! You should read it!)
Just think, THOUSANDS of years ago when God inspired Moses and Samuel to write their books, He had them use a word that would be translated "respite" thousands of years later, AND He put those words in the exact chapters so I would read them back to back in my 10-Chapters-A-Day plan immediately after He spoke that word of guidance to me through His Holy Spirit. Our God is an AWESOME God and He has a plan for my life!
What I want to write about today is something I have considered writing about for a while now. In fact I have written examples of it in my story of the minivans and in my most recent post. God always confirms His direction to me through His Word. He does this in different ways. Usually it is through the content and meaning of the verses He shows me (or that I "happen" to read), as it was in the above two examples, but occasionally it is in the actual word usage of the Bible.
First let me say that I am speaking here of specific guidance that I already know lines up with the content and principles of the Word of God. God will never lead you or me to do something contrary to the Bible. This is an EXTREMELY important point!!! How do I know if it lines up with His principles? I have to READ the Bible...immerse myself in it as much as possible. I cannot adequately stress this point! God will never guide you contrary to His Word, AND I would totally discount and disregard an example like what I wrote below if it didn't line up with the content and principles God has written for us in the Bible.
It is astonishing to me when God uses the actual word usage in the Bible to confirm His still small voice. This has happened to me a handful of times and always stuns me because I feel like God was thinking of me and my situation thousands of years ago when the words were penned and hundreds of years ago when they were translated. He was thinking of ME! Wow! I am amazed and awed by His love!
On the morning of April 18 I wrote in my very-infrequently-used journal, "Last night the word "respite" came to me. Is this the direction God is leading me in? I will look for confirmation in the Word."
I prayed for confirmation. I felt like I was in such a low spot mentally and physically with all of the demands of the kids and uncomfortable revelations about my own character that I needed some sort of confirmation to know I was hearing His voice, especially since it was very possible that it was just my wishful thinking. After all, I KNEW He called me to do foster care, and doing respite for other foster parents seemed to be the easy way out. (Respite is short term care...for a weekend or a week or occasionally longer.) I did some looking in the Bible at lots of scriptures about rest and encouragement since respite is essentially a rest for the foster parents and I would have the potential to speak encouraging words in to their lives and the lives of the kids. Of course there are also so many scriptures about God's care for the fatherless that I was already familiar with due to my widow study. The concept certainly lined up with God's Word, but was respite truly His specific direction for me? I kept praying about it, and felt peace, so I decided that when my current foster kids go to their mom I will just do respite care. I almost forgot about asking for confirmation until last week. I "happened" to be looking up a word in the concordance. The word started with the letter "R" and I thought, "Hmmm...while I am in the R's I think I'll look up 'respite' and see if that word is even in the Bible." Sure enough "respite" is in the Bible, but only two times.
I looked up the first time. It was in Exodus. When I turned to it, I saw my bookmark from my first section in my Ten-Chapters-A-Day plan. The word "respite" was in the very next chapter I would have read if I had been getting up early to do my Bible reading. I turned to the only other time the word "respite" is used in the entire Bible. Guess what? It was at my next bookmark. It was the very next chapter I would have read after the one in Exodus! If I only would have gotten up early and read my ten chapters (actually I would have only had to read the first two of the ten chapters) the very next day or any of the days after writing my journal entry on April 18, I would have had my confirmation in the Word! I don't think I have read more than 2 days worth of my plan since the kids came in March (spread out over several days). I cannot tell you how many times in my exhaustion I have not gotten up early to read, and lately when I have been getting up early to read (because it makes SUCH a difference in my day and my life!), I have been focused in one book. (2 Peter!!! You should read it!)
Just think, THOUSANDS of years ago when God inspired Moses and Samuel to write their books, He had them use a word that would be translated "respite" thousands of years later, AND He put those words in the exact chapters so I would read them back to back in my 10-Chapters-A-Day plan immediately after He spoke that word of guidance to me through His Holy Spirit. Our God is an AWESOME God and He has a plan for my life!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Then and Now
Lately I've been doing a lot of sorting and rearranging (which, if you know me, you know I do not enjoy). Last night as I was filing some insurance papers, I saw a file that had my maiden name on it. I knew it was the file that my parents had for me and that lots of my old test results and certificates, etc. were in it. I took it out (anything to procrastinate). In it among the college report cards and high school transcripts was a career interest inventory I took in high school. After looking it over I was so disappointed in my high-school-self. How could I have not known myself like that? There were many things I listed that I would "like to do" that I would truly HATE to do. Some of my real self peeked through, though. At least I didn't put "NOT like to do" on what I now love, most of those just had the "neutral" marking. The disparity between my high school self and my 2011 self really bothered me and helped some fragments of thought about my past gel into something semi-solid.
The short version (and still only Jello-consistency) is that my high school view of myself was defined by my academic interests and achievements. I was good at school, and I enjoyed science. I measured my worth by my brains, and my plans were mostly defined by my academic interests. I had a relationship with God, even a "good" relationship with God. But He didn't really enter the "career interest inventory" process. Fortunately He did get to me before I made life decisions, and I listened to Him and went into the field of math education. I discussed on of the reasons here. Over the past months, though, I have struggled with this. Did God lead me to this because I had a narrow view of myself and wouldn't have been open to His true plans? Or was this progression His plan all along? I don't have answers for these questions yet, and maybe never will. That is fine. There are future reasons (my children) why I feel this is important to think about. It is not all about figuring out my past, it is about helping them for their futures.
After thinking about this last night, I woke up thinking "blog post," but didn't want to skip my Bible reading. I tossed up a quick prayer to the effect of "if you want me to post something about this confirm it in scripture." Guess what happened? Here is a passage from Amos (which I maybe wouldn't have ever read before, but because of my 10-chapters-a-day did).
Amos 7:14-15 (this is immediately after Amaziah told Amos to go away and stop prophesying to him)
Amos then goes on to prophecy really horrible things to Amaziah, undaunted.
God changed Amos' career midstream! We don't know if Amos wasn't obeying God before, or if there just was a change, but Amos was SURE of what God had called him to NOW and he was going to DO IT! God switched him from a natural career to a supernatural one (and one that people uncomfortable and angry). But Amos was obedient and took action. May I do the same.
The short version (and still only Jello-consistency) is that my high school view of myself was defined by my academic interests and achievements. I was good at school, and I enjoyed science. I measured my worth by my brains, and my plans were mostly defined by my academic interests. I had a relationship with God, even a "good" relationship with God. But He didn't really enter the "career interest inventory" process. Fortunately He did get to me before I made life decisions, and I listened to Him and went into the field of math education. I discussed on of the reasons here. Over the past months, though, I have struggled with this. Did God lead me to this because I had a narrow view of myself and wouldn't have been open to His true plans? Or was this progression His plan all along? I don't have answers for these questions yet, and maybe never will. That is fine. There are future reasons (my children) why I feel this is important to think about. It is not all about figuring out my past, it is about helping them for their futures.
After thinking about this last night, I woke up thinking "blog post," but didn't want to skip my Bible reading. I tossed up a quick prayer to the effect of "if you want me to post something about this confirm it in scripture." Guess what happened? Here is a passage from Amos (which I maybe wouldn't have ever read before, but because of my 10-chapters-a-day did).
Amos 7:14-15 (this is immediately after Amaziah told Amos to go away and stop prophesying to him)
Then Amos answered and said to Amaziah, "I was no prophet, nor a prophet's son, but I was a herdsman and a dresser of sycamore figs. But the Lord took me from following the flock, and the Lord said to me, 'Go, prophesy to my people Israel.' "
Amos then goes on to prophecy really horrible things to Amaziah, undaunted.
God changed Amos' career midstream! We don't know if Amos wasn't obeying God before, or if there just was a change, but Amos was SURE of what God had called him to NOW and he was going to DO IT! God switched him from a natural career to a supernatural one (and one that people uncomfortable and angry). But Amos was obedient and took action. May I do the same.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Ten chapters per day?
In December I started looking around for a new Bible reading plan. I have spent several years studying different topics and/or being "stuck" in one book of the Bible. All of this has transformed my thinking, but I was feeling that it was time to get an overview again. (See this post from October.) I looked into several plans. The one I was most interested in was the plan my friend used (which she describes in this post.) While searching for more info on her plan, I "stumbled" across this blog post describing Professor Grant Horner's Bible reading system. It intrigued me, so I did a bit more searching and came upon this very interesting interview with Professor Horner. I looked at his plan (and the reasons he gave for why he did what he did) and at my friend's plan (they are quite similar in concept) and made my own hybrid. If you are more tech-savvy than me you can get Professor Horner's plan on YouVersion and read on your smartphone or computer (they also have the M'Cheyne reading plan which is somewhat similar, but only 5 chapters per day and LOTS of other plans.)
I am reading 10 chapters per day from 10 different books of the Bible (6 Old Testament and 4 New Testament.) I do not do it every day. My plan is to do the ten chapters daily on weekdays and do more in depth study on weekends (I have had varying levels of success with this.) Today I was on day 40. That means I have read 400 chapters of the Bible since Jan. 1! WOW! It is exciting and fun (two words I would not have previously connected with this volume of Bible reading.) The fun part comes when different parts of the Bible have crossover, similarities, or other ties that I never noticed before. One day this week my passage in Genesis and my passage in Judges (hundreds of years apart in time) took place in the same obscure (to me) town. At least weekly (and often daily) there has been something like this. It is helping me see the Bible as a whole, to see the connectedness of it, and to build familiarity with even the parts that I would not normally think of reading (minor prophets). It takes me about an hour a day, requiring early rising since I cannot read successfully with my kids around (this also helps explain my lack of blog posts since early morning is my time for that as well). If I was a faster reader and/or I didn't always want to jot references down in my various scripture collections it would probably only take 30-45 minutes. My mom is doing a 9 chapter per day plan and can get it done in 20 minutes (she is a fast reader and has read through the Bible almost yearly for as long as I can remember--familiarity makes you faster.)
Now before you get all guilt-ridden or condemning of yourself for not reading as much (or even reading at all) realize that this is just what I am doing...what God led me to for this season of my life. Last year I just read parts of Isaiah over and over (and many many days didn't read anything at all with the time and energy consuming adoption transition...often I was in survival-mode and sleep-deprived.) I also have a very real and growing understanding of God's grace and the concept of roots and fruit (hopefully topics for other posts.) I do not do this out of obligation, because I have to do this for God to love me or bless me. He loves me and blesses me because of Who He is, not because of what I do. I am doing this because He loves me and gives His love to me so I can love Him and love others. I hunger to know more about Him and His plan for me. I know that by renewing my mind with the Word, my soul, my mind, is transformed into what He would have me to be. I want to be that person!
I am reading 10 chapters per day from 10 different books of the Bible (6 Old Testament and 4 New Testament.) I do not do it every day. My plan is to do the ten chapters daily on weekdays and do more in depth study on weekends (I have had varying levels of success with this.) Today I was on day 40. That means I have read 400 chapters of the Bible since Jan. 1! WOW! It is exciting and fun (two words I would not have previously connected with this volume of Bible reading.) The fun part comes when different parts of the Bible have crossover, similarities, or other ties that I never noticed before. One day this week my passage in Genesis and my passage in Judges (hundreds of years apart in time) took place in the same obscure (to me) town. At least weekly (and often daily) there has been something like this. It is helping me see the Bible as a whole, to see the connectedness of it, and to build familiarity with even the parts that I would not normally think of reading (minor prophets). It takes me about an hour a day, requiring early rising since I cannot read successfully with my kids around (this also helps explain my lack of blog posts since early morning is my time for that as well). If I was a faster reader and/or I didn't always want to jot references down in my various scripture collections it would probably only take 30-45 minutes. My mom is doing a 9 chapter per day plan and can get it done in 20 minutes (she is a fast reader and has read through the Bible almost yearly for as long as I can remember--familiarity makes you faster.)
Now before you get all guilt-ridden or condemning of yourself for not reading as much (or even reading at all) realize that this is just what I am doing...what God led me to for this season of my life. Last year I just read parts of Isaiah over and over (and many many days didn't read anything at all with the time and energy consuming adoption transition...often I was in survival-mode and sleep-deprived.) I also have a very real and growing understanding of God's grace and the concept of roots and fruit (hopefully topics for other posts.) I do not do this out of obligation, because I have to do this for God to love me or bless me. He loves me and blesses me because of Who He is, not because of what I do. I am doing this because He loves me and gives His love to me so I can love Him and love others. I hunger to know more about Him and His plan for me. I know that by renewing my mind with the Word, my soul, my mind, is transformed into what He would have me to be. I want to be that person!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The Bible
If you missed it, check out my previous post. Here is my partial answer to what I believe about the Bible. Many thanks to the friends in my Bible study who also answered this question on their own. Some of my answer below I researched based on what they found and discussed with our group. I finally had to stop with the scripture references because verses led to more verses which led to more verses, and I wanted you to read this and not just get overwhelmed. I am amazed by how much the Bible comments on itself! I would encourage you to look into it for yourself. The links below go to BibleGateway which has handy cross references to get you going.
I believe the Bible is God-breathed (2 Tim. 3:16). God is true author. It is my guidebook (Ps. 119:105, Rom. 15:4, 2 Tim. 3:16); my source of wisdom (2 Tim. 3:15, Eph. 1:7-9, Proverbs!); and my checks and balances, discerning my thoughts and intentions (Heb. 4:12). It is the only book I really NEED (Matt. 4:4). I believe that by renewing my mind with the Word of God (with an open and yielded heart--see the parable of the sower and Rom. 12:1), I am being transformed, metamorphosed from the inside out (Rom. 12:2). I believe the Word of God is eternal and unchanging (Ps. 119:89-90, John 1:1, Is. 40:8.) It teaches and encourages me and gives me hope (Rom. 15:4). The Word of God is true (Ps. 18:30 2 Sam. 7:28, Prov. 30:5). It is The Truth (John 17:17, Ps. 119:160). The Word of God equips me to do good (2 Tim. 3:17). It is the sword of the Spirit--our weapon against the devil (Eph. 6:17).
In the past, I have often passed over difficult passages (many in Revelation), entire chapters (in Job and other places) or even whole books of the Bible (Lamentations???), thinking they weren't important to my life, or they were written to someone else or they were in the past and not really relevant except for as a collection of Bible stories (most of the Old Testament.) Now I am coming to realize that I missed the point of 2 Tim. 3:16: ALL Scripture is God-breathed. Jesus said, "For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished." (Matt. 5:18 also see Luke 16:17 and Matt. 24:35). I need to trust, learn, and teach the whole council of God (Acts. 20:27). It is my job to keep my heart yielded to God (the good soil in the parable of the sower) and plant the seed of the Word, but it is God's job to make that seed grow. It won't return void or be useless (Is. 55:11).
I may not understand every bit of it right now, but now that I do take every bit of it seriously I am finding revelation all over the Bible. It is truly amazing! Also, I am writing out my questions, and fully expecting them to be answered some day. The change in mindset really makes a difference. EVERY WORD in my Bible means something! It is there for a REASON! And God, the Author, the Revealer of Mysteries (Dan. 2), is my guide through it all.
I believe the Bible is God-breathed (2 Tim. 3:16). God is true author. It is my guidebook (Ps. 119:105, Rom. 15:4, 2 Tim. 3:16); my source of wisdom (2 Tim. 3:15, Eph. 1:7-9, Proverbs!); and my checks and balances, discerning my thoughts and intentions (Heb. 4:12). It is the only book I really NEED (Matt. 4:4). I believe that by renewing my mind with the Word of God (with an open and yielded heart--see the parable of the sower and Rom. 12:1), I am being transformed, metamorphosed from the inside out (Rom. 12:2). I believe the Word of God is eternal and unchanging (Ps. 119:89-90, John 1:1, Is. 40:8.) It teaches and encourages me and gives me hope (Rom. 15:4). The Word of God is true (Ps. 18:30 2 Sam. 7:28, Prov. 30:5). It is The Truth (John 17:17, Ps. 119:160). The Word of God equips me to do good (2 Tim. 3:17). It is the sword of the Spirit--our weapon against the devil (Eph. 6:17).
In the past, I have often passed over difficult passages (many in Revelation), entire chapters (in Job and other places) or even whole books of the Bible (Lamentations???), thinking they weren't important to my life, or they were written to someone else or they were in the past and not really relevant except for as a collection of Bible stories (most of the Old Testament.) Now I am coming to realize that I missed the point of 2 Tim. 3:16: ALL Scripture is God-breathed. Jesus said, "For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished." (Matt. 5:18 also see Luke 16:17 and Matt. 24:35). I need to trust, learn, and teach the whole council of God (Acts. 20:27). It is my job to keep my heart yielded to God (the good soil in the parable of the sower) and plant the seed of the Word, but it is God's job to make that seed grow. It won't return void or be useless (Is. 55:11).
I may not understand every bit of it right now, but now that I do take every bit of it seriously I am finding revelation all over the Bible. It is truly amazing! Also, I am writing out my questions, and fully expecting them to be answered some day. The change in mindset really makes a difference. EVERY WORD in my Bible means something! It is there for a REASON! And God, the Author, the Revealer of Mysteries (Dan. 2), is my guide through it all.
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